?2Final Draft, Inc. Final Draftj,FFFF000000060002000177AA000000000085000000002000110000001-7EFB67000480048-24F1477200BD-1BE3BE7BE3BE7A1A06400647D01477334FFFF01060DE60000100000047000000010175B408404F12A14772DE175B038E006146B14E147714E000020000176200000000175B,Lights... light up on stage showing Elliot, Steven and Jodi sitting around and on top of a wooden table which has flyers and a telephone. Elliot stands up, grabs a flyer and acts as if he is trying to hand someone a flyer, but they refuse to take the flyer... flyer. Elliot Hello, would you like to donate money to... ELLIOT has a look of disappointment on his face as he sits back down. More of the Same from STEVEN (STAND, FLYER, REJECTION). Steven AIDS research is very important to... STEVEN sits down disappointed. More of the same from JODI. Jodi Hello, sir. Sir! Excuse you?! ELLIOT Im getting tired of sitting on this piece of wood. Jodi & steven Ba-dum, ba-dum. ELLIOT It seems like no matter what we do, we still are misunderstood. JODI & STEVEN Ba-dum, ba-dum. ELLIOT Were just trying to rise money for the sickly masses. JODI & STEVEN Ba-dum, ba-dum. ELLIOT But still, our words fall on def ears-- STEVEN The stupid, pretentious asses. JODI We got the OMG, i cant believe that they cant see were trying to help blues. Elliot & jodi Ba-dum, ba-dum. StEVEN We should have known right from the start, that they wouldnt listen very hard. ELLIOT DONT THEY KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE DIE OF AIDS? JODI One guy said, only the unholy gays. ElLIOT & STEVE & jodi We got the cant believe that they cant see that aids is not the gay disease blues. Jodi, steven & jodi Ba-dum, ba-dum. CLEO and SAMANTHA enter. CLEO Hey you guys. You dont look so happy. JODI Were about a nine on a scale of one to crappy. SAMANTHA You really shouldnt let those people get to you. ELLIOT I guess youre right... exactly who are you? CLEO Oh, sorry Elliot. His is my girlfriend, Samantha. Sam, these are my friends Elliot, Steven and Jodi. JODI And thats Cleo. JODI points to CLEO. CLEO Jodi, I think she knows who I am. JODI *Scoffs. Yeah, now. CLEO I told Samantha about our fund-raiser for AIDS hospice and research and she wanted to help. Hows it going by the way? eLLIOT & STEVE & JODI Ba-dum, ba-dum CLEO Cmon. It cant be that bad. JODI Um, hello? We said ba-dum, ba-dum. Thats like the universal sound for we got the blues. CLEO Still we cant just quit. Theres too much at stake. We have a job-- a responsibility. Our fund-raiser could save lives. We cant just throw in the towel. EllIOT Youre delusional, Cleo. ELLIOT gets up to exit. CLEO Where are you going? ELLIOT To find a towel to throw. ELLIOT exits. CLEO Sam, help me out. SamANTHA I dont really think I should... o--okay... Um, guys... Cleos right. CLEO Thanks... Guys, we have a duty. JODI Heh, she said doodie. CLEO Focus! Just listen. STEVEN Yeah, Jo. Pay attention. CLEO faces Steven. CLEO We must stand tall, flaws and all. Were not giving up. STEVEN repeats the line in a round as CLEO moves toward JODI. CLEO (CONTD) We will find a way, any kind of way, to raise this money today. We will find a way, any kind of way, to raise this money today. JODI begins reciting the lyrics in a round while CLEO and SAMANTHA sing together. CLEO & SAMANTHA We wont quit now. We cant how could we quit now, we can see now. They do the round for another measure and then they end it with... CLEO, JODI, SAMANTHA & STEVEN BA-DUM, BA-DUM! They end in some extravagant pause with jazz hands or something. ELLIOT enters with a piece of paper in is hand and stops for a second and stare at them, confused. ELLIOT What are you guys doing? CLEO, JODI, SAMANTHA & STEVEN Nothing... CLEO Actually, we just increased the moral a couple notches... You look less than thrilled though. Whats wrong? ELLIOT Guys... I GOT A BAD FEELING. A FEELING DEEP INSIDE. CLEO & SAMANTHA YOU GOT A BAD FEELING' ELLIOT FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA DIE. I GOT A FUNNY FEELING. JODY NOT FUNNY, "HA, HA." ELLIOT I CAN'T EVEN READ IT! Elliot dramatically passes out into Steve's arms while handing the piece of paper to Cleo. Samantha and Jody crowd around her and read silently she reads aloud. CLEO FRED PHELPS IS PERMITTED BY LAW TO HOLD A PUBLIC SPEAKING SLASH INSPIRATIONAL TEACHING AT THE UNIVERSITY SQUARE -- LOCATED RIGHT OVER... THERE. Cleo points out toward the audience to suggest University Square is across the street. Steve drops Elliot on the floor and joins the around the piece of paper. CLEO (CONTD) ... I GOT THAT SAME FEELING OH, GOD. WHY TODAY? STEVE I GOT THAT SAME FEELING ELLIOT I'M FINE, BY THE WAY. CLEO I GOT A BAD FEELING. SAMANTHA DID IT SAY REVEREND PHELPS? JODY WHO IS THIS FRED GUY, ANYWAY? STEVE I KNOW OF HIM, IF IT HELPS. SOME SAY THAT HE RESIDES IN LAND KNOWN AS TOPEKA BUT IF YOU'RE GAY OR LESBIAN, HE MIGHT NOT WANT TO MEET YA HE'S KNOWN FOR PREACHING ALL KINDS OF SLOGANS ON BANNERS, SIGNS AND FLAGS. HIS BEST-KNOWN SIGN TELLS EVRYONE THAT "GOD HATE FAGS" HE FEELS THAT WHEN GAYS DIE OF AIDS GOD'S SMILING UP IN HEAVEN BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, FRIENDS THIS MAN ALSO THANKS GOD FOR 9/11 HE HATES TV, THE INTERNET PRETTY MUCH ALL MULTIMEDIA. SAMANTHA HOW'D YOU FIND OUT ALL THIS STUFF' STEVE WIKIPEDIA. THIS GUY HATES SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE TOO. PEOPLE LIKE CORETTA SCOTT KING. AND BILL O'REILLEY, RONALD REAGAN-- JODY SO PRETTY MUCH, EVERYTHING' STEVE IGNORE THAT HE'S EIGHTY THIS MAN IS QUITE SHADY OUR FUND-RAISER'S PAST POINTS OF HEALING I GOT A BAD FEELING! SAMANTHA HE'LL SWARM US WITH HIS SIGNS AND MINIONS ELLIOT PREACH TO US HIS DAFT OPINIONS CLEO YOU THINK THAT HE WILL GO TO HEAVEN? JODY HELLO? THANKS GOD FOR NINE-ELEVEN? SAMANTHA THIS GUY IS OFF HIS FREAKING ROCKER! STEVE MAYBE WE COULD HAVE HIM SHOT, OR MAYBE WE'LL KIDNAP HIS SON! ELLIOT WE WON'T LET HIM RUIN OUR FUN... D... RAISER. CLEO WHAT CAN WE DO? HE HAS THE RIGHT? STEVE THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE CAN'T FIGHT HIS ABSURD, WILD AND RUDE . CLEO IN WHAT WAY DOES THAT HELP CONDITIONS? WE NEED HELP, NOT PEOPLE DYING! JODY HAS ANYONE NOTICED WE'RE STILL RHYMING? SAMANTHA WE MUST DO SOMETHING. CALL THE COPS! JODY YOU THINK POLICE WILL MAKE HIM STOP? 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